


Party Monster

by kjonginexo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, fwb to lovers, lots of drug usage with pills n weed n cocaine n mdma, parent friends!baekyeol, ppl who need to learn communication!sekai, sekai - Freeform, smutty scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-31 09:39:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12129675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kjonginexo/pseuds/kjonginexo
Summary: Jongin and Sehun fall for one another in between their drug highs and down time together, but it takes a bad high for them to talk about itthe desc. doesn't do this justice





	Party Monster

**Author's Note:**

> DONT DO DRUGS, I DO NOT BY ANY MEANS CONDONE DOING DRUGS SO DONT DO THEM THIS IS JUST FICTIONAL OKAY? OKAY

Strobing lights throbbed through the club, sweat and alcohol filled the club underneath the strong perfume to mask it. White pills passed around the club to have half lidded eyes that saw more than one shape in the distance.  Music echoed loopy in their ears, sweat saturated their hairlines, lazily grinding against one another since the feeling of desire pumped sweetly through their veins, hyper aware of every feeling and sensation. 

Jongin stood victim to this pill, sweat matted hair pressing down against his forehead, body sheened with sweat underneath his thin mesh shirt, leather choker slicked from the sweat riding on his neck. Lips parted to inhale the perfume alcohol air into his clouded lungs, body heat of other’s body hot against him that faded into cool air if their body moved away for a hot second. 

The body against him was hot, lazily like him, blown pupils staring back at one another through the half lids to stare at the pretty thin lips in front of him that appeared in a group of three’s currently. He could tell which was the real one though since the others appeared foggy in his hazy eyes.

He didn’t know the other man's name, but he liked the way the broad hot shoulders felt on his hands, how the slender back easily curved against his fingers. The way Jongin’s thick thighs could fit easily between the ones that were slightly thinner than his own. How the narrow eyes stared at him hazily but as if he wanted Jongin more than anything. His brain was fuzzy, no two thoughts could really connect with anything, the only constant was how  _ nice _ the man felt and the dry taste of the pill mixed with the vodka tasted on his tongue. 

Lips, lips on lips. Thinner ones dominating his own full ones, gin and bitterness filled Jongin’s mouth but his body fled up with goosebumps at the sigh into his mouth that was heavy and sated. The heat from the sigh seemed to pass easily through his lips and flood his mouth with a sensation that Jongin really liked. Tongue now, he wasn’t sure how everything was leading one to another but it all felt so good he didn’t want to stop. He knew it had to be messy since his mouth was slacked along with the man’s in front of him. It was messy, hot, all lip and tongues colliding seamlessly against one another despite hazy brains that couldn’t connect anything to another. 

The rest of the night was blurred out, he could place feelings, like how nice it felt to have the man sucking a mark onto his neck in between his own slurred low giggles that sounded like an effort to even produce. Then how warm and thick the latter’s cock felt in his mouth, the way the man looked more in bliss and peaceful than he already did. The sweetness of his come, even though it was probably salty but it tasted like strawberries on his tongue. The burning stretch of having a cock fucking in the ass, the tingling pleased sensation coursing through his thighs. He remembered wanting it so much, the other man wanting him just as much, and then after he slipped into a hazy slumber.

 

His head hurt, things were in singular vision now that he blinked himself to reality after rubbing his eyes so hard he could see stars. His eyes were heavy, his body felt excruciatingly heavy, mouth incredibly dry as the stickiness in between his thighs started to register. His shirt was off, he was naked, he remembered whatever his mind could register. He felt his chest fluster with a warmth, even if it was all foggy and in pieces that didn’t really click together, he liked everything he experienced.

His turned his head to see a shirtless man lying next to him, he remembered the hot back against his cool fingertips and how easy they went down the dip of his spine, how nice that was. His thick black hair was splayed slightly against the white pillow case. He didn’t know where he was, and he didn’t like how dirty he felt, so he figured he could shower before asking everything he needed to. 

Jongin got out of the bed carefully not to wake whoever it was next to him, padding his way around what appeared to be a simple studio apartment that was minimal and clean in design. He saw picture frames of the other in photos, a dog, more people posing with him. He was in this stranger's apartment, he walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. 

It was a nice hot shower, steam clouded the mirrors with time as Jongin stood beneath the shower head to let the water trickle down his tanned body. 

The water felt nice going down his body, his head still felt like it was throbbing and beating against his skull to be released, but besides that it felt incredibly nice to stand there. Eventually he wet the loofa and washed his body with the shea butter and vanilla body wash, ridding of the sticky residue of what he assumed to be come. He finished his shower and stepped out, grabbing a clean towel after wandering the bathroom for a fresh one and wrapped it around his hips to hang low. 

He walked out after drying off to go over to his discarded clothes, the bed empty now, the smell of coffee filled the small apartment. “Hey?” Jongin heard a scratchy voice in a higher pitch than his own. He whirled around, soft fond eyes meeting cold yet warm ones all at once. “Um, hi, I woke up sticky, sorry.” The other cracked a tired smile, eyes now looking down to his mug as he took the coffee off the pot to pour it into the mug. “It’s fine. You took the pill last night right?” 

Jongin timidly stepped forward to the kitchen, nodding before clearing his throat. “Yeah, I did.” The man nodded, “me too.” Jongin took a seat at the bar, eyeing the other’s messy bed head hair, broad shoulders, strong toned chest that still had a lithe beauty to it. He may have been high but he surely had wonderful taste. “What’s your name?” Jongin asked quietly, hands resting on the counter, attempting to cover up his chest as if the latter didn’t fuck him last night. “Sehun, you?” 

Sehun, finally, a name to the face. “Jongin.” They smiled faintly at one another, Jongin stood up from the bar stool and paced his way back to the discarded alcohol stenched clothes. He bent down to grab his boxers and slid them on, next black skinny jeans, then mesh shirt, deciding to hold the leather choker. “Thanks for letting me stay, but I have to go. I left my phone at home last night and I’m pretty sure my friends have patrol officers already out looking for me.” Sehun laughed, it was a nice laugh that sounded melodic with a slight tinge that anyone could find humor in. “Let me get your number, and you’ll have a text waiting for me when you get home.” Jongin smiled, nodding and took Sehun’s phone to input his number. 

 

“ _ Kim motherfucking Jongin _ , where the fuck have you been?” Jongin was welcomed by Baekhyun who paced right over to him to punch him directly on the chest. Chanyeol sat worried on the couch but way calmer than Baekhyun. “Um, went to a club, forgot my phone.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes with an over exaggerated gasp. “I can see that, idiot. When I told you to get out, I should have included with the details of ‘going out’ to bring a way of contact you fucking, fucking… moron. You’re a moron.” Chanyeol walked over to him, ruffling Jongin’s slightly damp hair.

“Baekhyun, he got a shower this morning, meaning he got fucked.” The angry pouty puppy disappeared into a sly smug one, humming. “You got fucked?” Jongin nodded, smiling sheepishly as he walked past them, both hot on his feet as he walked into his bedroom and sure enough, a text from Sehun.  _ ‘Hey, it’s Sehun, hope to see you again sometime x.’ _

“Details! You never get fucked, pretty sure you had cobwebs spun up in your asshole.” Jongin squinted, turning around with an annoyed grumble. “Shut up Baekhyun.” Chanyeol and Baekhyun only giggled, looking at him expectantly. Jongin didn’t know how to word he took a drug and he fucked someone really hot an extremely messy high, but he shrugged. “I don’t remember much, everything was fuzzy.” Chanyeol furrowed his eyebrows, speaking before Baekhyun could yell. “What do you mean?” Jongin sighed out softly, turning his head to look away as a heat crawled up his neck. “I took some pill, and everything felt nice but it was all fuzzy and hazy.” 

“ _ You took a fucking pill? _ Are you stupid? Wow, two stupid things in one night. Nevermind, never go out again, fucking moron.” Jongin just rolled his eyes, staring down at the text message with a little content sigh leaving his lips at the very thought of seeing Sehun again. 

 

His back was up against the wall, legs wrapped around the slim waist as his own soft moans sounded far and foggy in his mind. His hair was matted down to his forehead, pushing his own hips down to Sehun’s thrusts into him. He felt better on marijuana than he did on whatever that pill was, and in his full self defense he didn’t plan on this. 

Sehun and Jongin texted throughout the week, planning a meet up at some mellow kickback party. Their sexual attraction seemed to be like a flame meeting something flammable, and neither seemed to matter. Jongin’s favorite part of the night is when he sat on Sehun’s lap and had his lips open against Sehun’s, smoke filtering past his lips as he slowly inhaled it. He ignored the slow burn filling his chest as he exhaled it out of his nose slowly. 

“Do you just get high?” Jongin asked after his third puff and passed the blunt to the attractive man sitting next to him. “No, I would like to get to know you without drugs one day you know. You feel nice on my lap though.” He softly spoke, blowing smoke out through his nostrils. Jongin smiled at that, feeling a comfort in that somehow. “I'm holding your words to getting to know me. I like being on your lap.” Sehun passed the blunt after that, lips pressing to his as smoke filled his lungs easily from the experience. Lips on his once again but it felt better than it did on the pill. 

His mind may have been fuzzy, but his body started to become hyper aware and channel his sensations in a mind blowing slow burning way. The warmth from Sehun’s lips hit his own warm ones, the pot of swirling warmth that tasted like vanilla chased on his tongue as their lips parted to melt their tongues into one. Sehun’s warm hands gripped on Jongin’s cold thighs, feeling the rest of his body grow goosebumps one by one. 

The process to how they got to fucking was one that was fuzzy but all memorable, every feeling burning and curling hot or cold within himself, the vivid taste of Sehun’s mouth on his tongue, how it felt to get lifted against the wall and have one half of his body cold against the wall then flushed hot on the front with Sehun up against him. Warm spit that he could feel cooling against his skin, pointless laughter against lips. The burn of Sehun’s first finger that eventually turned into a craving he couldn’t place a descriptive name to, the burn of Sehun’s cock he wanted to feel more of that seared hard and hot through his thighs. 

Sweat building on his body that he felt clinging to his shirt, pants and moans and groans filled his ears and nothing else besides that and feelings surrounded his brain. Everything all at once was so sensual in the moment, all felt timed and perfect, slow even. It felt like once it was over that it wasn’t enough, and he wanted more hot to cold touches, hot breaths against his neck that would mix with cool air that kept his body perfectly on edge.

 

He laid on the bed with Sehun, eyes incredibly heavy but he managed to stay awake since his body felt like a weight. “Jongin?” Sehun whispered, making Jongin lift his head up now to look at Sehun who was undressed beneath him. Jongin could practically feel Sehun’s heartbeat racing against his head, hear it pumping through his own veins, so lifting his head brought a silence he wasn’t fond of. “Sehun?” Sehun’s fingers had a lazy firmness to them as they curled through his hair. “Do you like dogs?”

Jongin looked at him with wide eyes as giggles poured past his lips for no reason he knew, but it was funny to him. “Love them, I have three. Do you?” He sing songed at ‘three’, making Sehun giggle until his eyes formed happy crescents and his nose scrunched up cutely. “Yes, I have one, he’s my child totally.” Jongin had a thought hot on his tongue that faded away as fast as it came, making him laugh mindlessly just at Sehun calling his dog his child even though he himself calls his dogs his kids. Oh, there’s the thought. “I call my dogs my kids too! Hey, hey, do you think dogs have feelings? We’re all connected on earth, do you think earth has feelings?” Sehun laughed, making Jongin laugh and curl further into one another. Hot grips of one another to hold onto something as their body was shaking with happy content laughter. 

The thought was lost out there, they forgot what Jongin had even said after they were done laughing. Eyes teary with joy, but as they relaxed they found themselves staring at one another. Trails that got lost of how beautiful Sehun looked entered Jongin’s mind, how nice Sehun’s pretty pink lips were, how his eyes were cold yet warm all at once, his nice cheekbones set high on his fair face, hair even looked beautiful askew and messy. Jongin thought he could stare at Sehun forever, like a piece of art that he would never tire of. But just like his other thoughts, it disappeared as fast as it came.

 

He felt better this morning as he woke up in whatever apartment this was. It was his own, but it wasn’t Sehun’s. He felt okay though since Sehun woke him, smiling down at him with a gentle smile of nothing but soft and fond feelings. “Morning sleepy, want coffee?” Jongin shook his head, scrunching his nose in disgust. “I don’t like coffee, but I know a place that serves coffee and tea if you’re wanting coffee.” Sehun giggled, shaking his head. “Not a fan of coffee either, I prefer tea. I know a good tea place that will for sure have tea I like, up for it?” Jongin sat up and nodded, looking down at his clothes with parted lips that hesitated on a thought before looking at Sehun. “Can we get new clothes?” Sehun nodded, standing up and held his hand out for Jongin to take. “Yeah, at mine.”

Sehun’s shirt fit him loosely since his shoulders were much broader than Jongin’s, but Jongin liked it nonetheless. Sehun’s jeans fit him a little tighter around his thighs, but besides that he was comfortable. He sat across Sehun, two bubble teas, one chocolate and one strawberry. Jongin sipped on the chocolate and hummed on the tapioca balls. “Do you like any other tea?” Jongin asked after setting the tea down, Sehun nodded, setting it down. “Chamomile, you said you had three dogs last night right?”

Jongin nodded with a little giggle, pulling out his phone and proceeded to show Sehun pictures of his three dogs, smiling whenever Sehun would coo and aw over them. Sehun showed Jongin Vivi, who happened to be an extremely adorable dog that Jongin wanted to hold and cuddle. “What type of movies do you like?” Sehun asked now, Jongin sipped on the drink as he hummed in careful consideration of his options to weigh them out with what he normally watches. “Marvel movies, horror movies. How about you?” Sehun smiled faintly, looking over Jongin in a gaze that made his cheeks flush. “I like romantic movies, horror movies are good too. Maybe you can get me into Marvel comics.” Jongin smiled, watching the pink color fill Sehun’s cheeks. “I’d like that.”

Their tea cups were discarded in the trash, they stood outside the bubble tea shop. “I’ll see you again right?” Jongin asked shyly, making Sehun chuckle fondly, he leaned forward to kiss his cheek before mumbling against it. “Yeah, you will, can’t let you go now can I?” Jongin returned the kiss to his cheek, smiling softly over at him as he blushed faintly. “Text me.”

 

His apartment was occupied when he arrived back home with a worried Baekhyun and a worried Chanyeol who was masking it by cooking up something delicious in his kitchen. “Jongin? Is that you?” Jongin padded his way into the area the other two were at, smiling at them. “Yeah, it’s me.” Baekhyun got up and hauled himself over to Jongin, hugging him tightly and nearly toppling them over. “You asshole I was so worried about you, you smell like weed. Oh my god, Jongin, did you get high again? Who the hell are you hanging out with? Stop going out, for fucks sake, only do drugs with people you trust like me or Chanyeol or whoever else you’re friends with even though you have no other friends.” Jongin snorted out a laugh at that, pulling away and hums out faintly. “I’ll go shower.”

The shower was fast, he dressed in his own clothes now as the food was being served for the three of them. “So, who’s been fucking you?” Jongin felt his entire face color with swelling heat to his body. “Shut up, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol laughed at that, sitting down at the table with a giggling Baekhyun. “I worry, would it kill you to text one of us to let us know you’re okay?” Jongin nodded, spooning some of the stew into his mouth, speaking after he swallows. “I mean to, I didn’t plan on getting high, but it felt nice and my brain just has a short attention span.” Baekhyun looked over at him along with Chanyeol, Chanyeol spoke now. “Well, at least it was just weed.”

Baekhyun shot him a look, huffing out quietly. “He could get hurt you know.” Jongin went to art his lips until Chanyeol spoke “what are you? His mom?” Jongin blinked, blurting before they could bicker. “I’m fine mom and dad.” They both looked at him with flushed embarrassment at being referred by him as his parents but nodded sheepishly and ate the stew quietly. 

 

Sehun was more talkative over text now than he was previously. Jongin learned a few more things about him over the next week like his favorite color was a pastel blue or grey, that his favorite season was fall and was looking forward to when it would come since summer was his least favorite. Sehun had a successful instagram account (whereas Jongin took an hour to figure out how to logout of his own), Sehun liked going to the beach on weekends (there was a promise they’d go together), and he liked shopping and pampering himself. Jongin figured as much since Sehun was so beautiful that Jongin knew he had a beauty regimen to upkeep. 

They planned to meet again at a bar inside a club next week, to which  Jongin was looking forward to since he liked the way  Sehun’s lips felt on his own. He was pretty sure they were just fuck buddies, and that was okay if he could just stop thinking about kissing Sehun any time his brain got a free chance to do that. He liked being around Sehun, definitely felt too safe to be around the stranger, but at the same time it felt okay.

 

“You dance? I do too.” Jongin spoke excitedly, lips around the rim of a vodka cranberry as Sehun was already flushed from the rum and coke. “I love to dance, can you cook?” Jongin shook his head, giggling out faintly as he leaned over to Sehun. “I can’t, not even a little bit. You?” They were sitting close, but still used loud tones to speak. “No, I can’t.” 

For some reason, Jongin found Sehun very endearing, it’s only been three weeks since they’ve met and he can’t seem to get enough. He had a basis of who Sehun was, and he liked everything he was being shown, but he was sure this was meant to stay casual and relaxed, he didn’t want to have to change and make Sehun go away. “You’re so attractive by the way.” Sehun slipped in, making Jongin giggle with a little blush on his cheeks. “So are you, inside and out.” Sehun blushed now, eye contact intense but soft all at once. “Mutual, babe.” 

Babe, his heart thumped wonderfully in his chest, he loved the endearment, and maybe he liked it more coming out his mouth. “Call me babe more often.” Sehun nodded, pecking his lips, whispering softly. “Will do.”

“Sehun!” A light voice filled his ears, making him turn but still stay close within his grip. “Yixing, hey, what’s up?” Yixing, the new man, shrugged with a smile on his face. Pupils dilated beyond belief and face incredibly red. “Got snow, want some?” Sehun looked down at Jongin, Jongin knew it was cocaine but he shrugged. “Alright.”

 

Private club room that was lit in purple lights hued out the white powder on the black table being cut into lines by credit card by Yixing. “Do you always do drugs?” Jongin asked Sehun, curling close to him in his lap, Sehun had his arms around him as he shook his head. “No, just when the time arises and if I feel like it in said time.” 

It was therapeutic in a fucked up sense to watch Yixing form the lines and cut them neat and clean with his card. The powder made trace residue against the table that was wiped up with a harsher swipe against the black wood. “Sehun and guest, by all means.” Sehun’s hand found Jongin’s inner thigh, giving it a squeeze. “Go for it, baby.” Jongin turned over to Sehun, pressing a quick kiss to his lips, liking the smile from Sehun before he pulled away. “Call me that more often, babe.” Sehun nodded, “same goes to you.” 

Jongin leaned down to the wood, it smelled like nothing, he wasn’t sure if that was good or not but he took a quick breath to calm himself before leaning down further. He held one nostril shut with his finger, snorting up the cocaine and ignoring the burn sting up his nose, giving one good final sniff until it was completely in his system. Eyes screwed shut as he let the burn settle down, the comforting hand on his thigh squeezed a few times until he relaxed now, opening his eyes to flash a grin over to Sehun. “Your turn.” Sehun leaned forward, snorting it off the wood, then leaned forward to kiss Jongin with full force.

Cocaine high is different from the other two highs, his body is bouncing off the walls and full jitters that seemed shocked with electricity. His body was vibing with energy, he felt incredibly amazing about himself like he was so fine and perfect. Sehun was just as perfect in his own eyes, but right now their kissing felt normal except with more of a rush to their actions.

He straddled Sehun’s lap, time seemed to be lost as his mind was running and racing to compete with the other thoughts that battered around in his skull. But it wasn’t overwhelming, it wasn’t throbbing difficulty to function, it was simply a racing brain that couldn’t hold on to one thought from the next as he got caught up in his euphoric excitement.

Clothes hit the floor easily after Jongin started to grind onto Sehun’s thigh without even knowing he was doing so. Pupils blown as they stared at one another with breathy laughs that sounded maniacal, but they liked the sound of it, they liked everything about it. Their sex was fast and rough, quick but felt so good at the same time. Jongin rode Sehun with sloppy precision, they didn’t care though, they were entranced by one another to the point of no return. 

“Feels so good, Jongin, always so good.” Sehun muttered out through a deep groan before releasing into the panting whiny boy above him. Their bodies still jittery now, got dressed quickly through heated making out that prolonged the process before taking one more line each, passing the room to Yixing and headed out to the dance floor.

Sehun’s body moved fluidly, Jongin noticed. The lights above him were brighter in his blown eyes, they danced within them, his body was moving smooth with Sehun’s who gripped his hips and whispered compliments that didn’t really flow but they still made Jongin blush all the same. “Your laugh is amazing.” Sehun said now into his ear, making it hard for Jongin to breathe for a short moment. “You’re amazing, I love being around you, you’re a good person you know. Tell me random things about you, anything.” He rambled quickly, Sehun though nodded just as eagerly.

“I love clouds, space is so so cool, I think cheesy jokes are better than other jokes, I work as a dance teacher. I like to rap, I spend a lot of money on clothes and my dog, I make my friend Junmyeon buy me food, and I like spending time with you. Your turn.” Jongin hummed eagerly, looking him over with a grin. “I like winter, I work as a dance teacher too! I spend my money on fried chicken and my two friends Baekhyun and Chanyeol make me food. I modeled a few times, and I like spending time with you, too.” The smile they shared was one that would’ve been the same sober, they both knew that, but they didn’t make it of importance then.

 

Fried chicken, Jongin’s absolute favorite that Sehun managed to remember. “Feels weird seeing you somewhere else besides a club or next to me in the morning.” He commented while Jongin swallowed down a piece of chicken with a loud giggle leaving his lips. “I like this, I like seeing you in these clothes.” Sehun sat across from him in a dad baseball cap, a military green bomber jacket and black t-shirt with ripped jeans and black converse. He looked incredibly attractive in these clothes, he didn’t even need to try. 

“You’re handsome, Jongin.” His face flushed with heat, looking down at his plate with a smile. “So are you, Sehun. Do you wanna hang out today? Do anything?” Sehun nodded, leaning forward and held his head in his hand. “I want to dance with you, then go ice skating at the mall.” Jongin nodded with a happy smile, wiping his hands clean with the napkin on his lap. “That sounds really nice.”

Sehun’s dance studio was something like Jongin’s but yet totally different. Jongin’s was the same in the way there were mirrors and slick waxed floor with barres against the walls. Though, Sehun’s dance room was painted white with a few hip hop records placed sloppily on a shelf by the small desk shoved in the corner. Jongin’s dance studio was painted a deep slate grey, everything neat and organized and minimal, desk kept tidy and only had schedules and a computer covering it. But Jongin looked around and thought this all screamed Sehun, light and messy, he liked it this way.

“Show me what you got, pretty boy.” Sehun winked at Jongin after using ‘pretty boy’ making Jongin roll his eyes playfully with a blush resting on his cheeks. Sehun walked into play some old school western R&B song that was easy to catch the melody to. His body rolled with ease, twisting and bending with finesse that no one could dare to dream of. The music took him and made him get lost in something that was all passion, he almost forgot where he was until a pair of hips gripped his hips and whispered huskily in his ear to follow his lead.

Sehun moved his hips with Jongin’s, both dancing sharp yet loose all at once. They were smooth, elegant, Sehun’s hands on  Jongin’s hips made his whole body fill with heat just at the touch alone. He liked that, he also liked how he caught Sehun smiling if Jongin caught his eyes. Maybe he liked that too much for people who were fuck buddies. “You’re good.” The mumble came out through a rush of air against Jongin’s ear when the song came to an end.

“So are you.” Jongin finished shyly, standing as Sehun walked over to the music to turn it off. “So, my friend Yixing is having a party tonight, wanna come?” Jongin nodded, running a hand through his hair to straighten out a few messy pieces. “Yeah, ice skating first right?” Sehun chuckled, nodding. “Let’s go.” Jongin’s hand slipped in Sehun’s, the look they exchanged was one of happiness but unsureness of where they stood with one another but they left it to stand in the air around them.

 

Jongin decided that ice skating is definitely not his thing if by the way he holds Sehun’s hand in a death lock is to tell by. Sehun was better than Jongin since he didn’t almost fall every two seconds but somehow in between all that, they were laughing with frightened squeaks and squeals echoing throughout the rink. 

Jongin learned that Sehun used to be an instagram model until he started teaching dance and used the money to get by in college. Besides bubble tea, he really likes warm soups and stews but tends to eat salads since he likes to keep his body in good shape. In between plenty of subtle compliments tossed back and forth, Jongin gathered his last ex was a year ago, Jongin beat him with three. It wasn’t a good one for either of them, both made subtle comments about wanting someone better, exchanging gentle smiles but still let the unsure feeling hang loose and empty in the air. In total, he broke only three bones, Jongin wasn’t as fortunate in that department since he broke at least five in total.

Jongin felt like he could write a small novel about all the things he’s learned about Sehun. Not to quote Shrek, but people are definitely like onions and Jongin was peeling back every single layer except unlike an onion, it was pretty and didn’t make his eyes water. They’re scraping the layer of personal emotional depth, but he wasn’t sure where he stood, and that bothered him since every part of him wanted to truly know.

 

Jongin looked down at the small bag of tablets that had a heart printed against it and a few other designs like a flower or alien, eyes flickering up at Sehun unsurely. “What’s this?” Sehun pulled Jongin over to him, arms wrapped around his waist. It had only been thirty minutes since they got into the party and the drugs were in his hands, not that he minded but some part of him wanted to be cautious. “MDMA, ecstasy. We can do it together, if you want.” Sehun lazily kissed his jawline, resting his chin on Jongin’s shoulder as he nodded.

His fingers pried open the sandwich baggy, pulling out two pink ones with heart tablets, giving Sehun one. “Open.” Sehun looked at him, waiting for Jongin’s full lips to part. Sehun pressed the tablet onto Jongin’s tongue and shortly after Jongin did the same. It was a bitter taste but it faded away quickly thankfully unlike the other random pill that was passed to him. “You chose the heart ones hm?” Sehun asked making Jongin giggle shyly. “Thought it would be cute.” Sehun nosed his nose over Jongin’s, humming out quietly. “You’re cute, Nini.”

It started out slow, his vision seemed to make the dark lighting of the house a flowy golden vintage sight. Like everything was beautiful to look at but Sehun was so beautiful to see. In his eyes, it was Sehun. Sehun’s face looked smooth, hair looked softer than Jongin normally did. His lips looked prettier in a more soft vibrant pink, his eyes seemed to twinkle under what was mute lighting. His hands felt so much softer and wow, Jongin really really did like his hands so much. Jongin liked just about everything that Sehun possessed, made his heart skip a beat hard in his chest when he saw Sehun smiling dopily at him. 

“Beautiful, you’re beautiful.” He heard himself mumble, he could see the blush form on his cheeks and oh, he really loved that. “So are you, kiss me.” Sehun said, gripping Jongin’s chin. All Jongin’s brain could think about was Sehun this and Sehun that, how nice their lips felt and reminiscing on everything that he knew about Sehun thinking that all of it was perfect. Sehun was perfect, and Jongin never wanted to let him go. He didn’t think about anything besides how sweet Sehun kissed him like Jongin was something to be protected and something fragile. His veins were coursing with something sweeter than everything, and the thing was, even though he was high it was everything he thought about but made himself stop thinking about.

His brain was unleashed now, letting every single thought about Sehun berate heavily against his skull. Highs and sobriety were different worlds, sobriety was a world filled with insecurities and stopping himself but when he was high with Sehun he indulged in whatever he could possibly want and need. He let his brain skip over that all they were is fuck buddies and nothing more, he let himself indulge once more, even though the touch of reality was screaming at him to connect. 

Their sex was slow, timed, connected, full of compliments and kisses across the body here and there just everywhere. Slow kisses, Sehun fucked Jongin slow, mumbled words of praise and how beautiful he thought Jongin was inside and out, how much he liked him, Jongin returned every single sentence. Every slow kiss, everything was mutual and returned, their reality didn’t connect and neither even attempted to make it mold. 

 

He was used to waking up in a random place next to Sehun, but what he didn’t expect was the way his mind was now sober and thinking all about Sehun. Same thoughts as last night but the world was clear, reality touched with his thoughts, and now he stared down at Sehun who was on his phone. 

His body was frozen with insecurities that ate at him now, that it was all just the drugs for Sehun and not real like how it was for Jongin. “Jongin?” He blinked, looking at Sehun. “Yeah?” Sehun looked awkward, tense, making the insecurities paint a more realistic picture in his mind that it was just the drugs. He let it hang in the air, watching Sehun sit up. “I gotta um, go. I’ll call you a cab?” Jongin shook his head, willing himself not to cry as he stood up and put on his clothes, inhaling quietly. “No, my friend lives nearby. I’ll see you.” He knew he wouldn’t see Sehun, it was all ruined for him now. 

He didn’t know though that Sehun stood with fear that it was all just the drugs for Jongin, knowingly he pushed him away, but still he watched the other walk out with his head bowed down.

 

“Jongin?” Baekhyun murmured, walking into the bedroom that the other hadn’t left now for two weeks except for work or food, or bathroom. It was strange to be so hung over someone he only had known for a month but it felt longer to Jongin. He was right about not seeing Sehun again, Sehun didn’t even text and Jongin stopped texting after two days.    
“What?” His voice was muffled as he laid wrapped in a bundle of blankets. “Go out tonight, c’mon.” Jongin looked up at Baekhyun from his cocoon, the worried face of the other was drawn in full attention to him. “No.” Baekhyun sat down, running his fingers through Jongin’s hair. “C’mon, please. We worry about you, I know you miss whoever this guy is but sitting in and moping is only going to make you think about him more.”

Jongin knew Baekhyun was right, he sat up with a quiet sigh falling past his lips as he turned his head to look at him. “Fine, don’t wait up.” Baekhyun nodded, kissing his forehead before going out the room to mumble something to Chanyeol. Jongin dressed himself in a black button down with the top three buttons undone, black skinny jeans hugging his body and he styled his hair in the tousled left part he likes. 

 

He always liked the one club Rush, it wasn’t the same one he met Sehun in and that was a good thing. He danced mindlessly to a beat until he felt someone dance with him, so he danced back with them. It was a girl, and Jongin didn’t ever care about dancing with girls since if they did want anything with him he’d just tell them he was gay, so he danced. “Like drugs?” She asked, yelling over the loud volume but it sounded normal in Jongin’s ears.

“Yeah, what kind?” He wanted to bliss out, fucking forget everything about Sehun. Get fazed and only think about what was happening in the moment, he didn’t hear her answer, but he took the snow white tablet and pressed it to his tongue and let her slink away. It took a few short ten minutes to kick in, but it didn’t start out pleasantly.

Nausea hit him hard with a feeling of his head being heavy and visions stuck in copies of threes. His mouth felt dry, throat burning, and everything sounded louder in his mind scaring him half to death if a certain sound went off or if someone slightly nudged against him. He didn’t focus on what was happening now, but that he was alone and scared of everything. Shadows lurked in the corners, he felt followed by absolutely nothing but an anxious feeling crowded his mind making tears spring from his eyes and anxiety skyrocket till he was hyperventilating. 

Darting, he pushed through people to get away from the dancing swirling shadows that taunted him in corners or behind people that was out for him, scrambling into the bathroom he ran to the biggest stall and locked the door, settling for a corner away from the door. The silence was better, his own breathing sounded loud in his ears, ears hearing the music and whispers and yells of whatever shadows were out just in the darkness. 

Sehun, he wanted Sehun so badly he was so scared. He wanted his protection, he was alone and vulnerable, his breathing was erratic and he could barely see but sure enough he managed to get the number up. Dial tone, silence, Jongin’s breathing, a loud yell that only played in his mind that made his body shake and tears leave his eyes harder. Dial tone that got cut short. “Jongin?” 

The light voice would usually help but right now he couldn’t focus. “S-Sehun, please come get me please I’m so scared they’re out to get me it’s so loud.” He didn’t have time to take a breath in between his tears, eyes taking in his blurry surroundings to make sure nothing was there even though he could now hear hyena like laughs vibrate through his skull, hands shaking more. “Jongin, hey, where are you? What’s going on?” 

He swallowed thickly, mouth drying up again, he paused at a yell and laugh that was louder, now found himself whispering and sobbing. “Rush, right, Rush. Please, Sehun please please.” Sehun immediately answered “I’m coming, where are you in Rush?” Jongin looked around, momentarily forgetting his surroundings. “Bathroom, uh, big stall, hurry.” 

Sehun didn’t hurry, at least that’s what it felt like to Jongin who was curled in a ball with his head in between his arms with his hands resting on the back of the neck who was shaking with fear. His whole body felt heavy and in between erratic panicked breaths he heard the yelling or whispering of how they were close, the darkness he saw chasing him was close and swirling. He rocked himself in the corner, crying out until he was crying out dry tears, fingers holding onto the ends of his hair out of fear. 

The rattle of the door didn’t go missed, in fact, it sounded like it was directly next to his ear making him cry louder. “Please don’t get me please please please. Sehun, Sehun hurry.” He called out weakly through his breaths that were now making him lightheaded. “Jongin, baby, it’s me it’s Sehun.” Jongin lifted his head to see Sehun crawling from underneath the door, panting and making his way right over to Jongin. “Breathe slow Jongin, c’mon.” Jongin saw Sehun dig a water out of his small backpack, now pulling Jongin from the corner to sit in between his legs, rubbing his back as Jongin took shaky breaths to slow. 

Once he slowed, he took a sip of Sehun’s water, leaning into Sehun’s chest as he threw his arms around the other male. “You’re here, you’re here.” He very faintly mumbled out, Sehun hugged Jongin just as tight nodding. “I’m here babe I’m here, what’d you take?” He shrugged, unlike the other drugs, he could think. “I don’t know, I just wanted to stop missing you but it backfired since I only feel safe enough to do this stuff with you.” He trembled out, Sehun slid his hands beneath Jongin’s thighs and picked them off the floor, leaving the club. “Where do you live, Nini?” 

 

He didn’t remember falling asleep, but he woke up to hear Chanyeol and Baekhyun loudly speaking, making his head throb more than it already did. He heaved himself out of the bed, walking outside to see the two sitting across from Sehun who looked flushed red. “Idiots, you’re both so dumb- oh, Jongin, are you okay?” Chanyeol asked, getting up and pulled him in for a hug. 

  
Jongin nodded, hugging him back as he groaned at the tight squeeze from the other. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He didn’t know why Sehun was still here, Sehun left before he was sure he could do it again. “Jongin? Can we talk, please?” Jongin pulled back from Chanyeol to look at Sehun, nodding very faintly and walked back to his room. 

He shut the door and sat down on his bed as Sehun stood against it, looking over Jongin. “Did you really go to the club and take that pill to stop missing me?” Sehun started, voice quiet. Jongin nodded, looking down at his lap. “What  I felt on ecstasy was real, and I thought it would have been just the drugs for you, and turns out I was right since you left.” He twiddled his thumbs, back tensing at the sudden silence until footsteps stepped over to him and held his thumbs. 

  
“It wasn’t right, I pulled away cause I thought it was like that for you. I missed you so much, Jongin. I really like you.” Jongin looked up at Sehun who was already looking at him. It made his face flush with heat, softly he exhaled. “I really like you too.” Sehun grinned with his own cheeks turning a red color. “Can we try this? Please?” Jongin nodded, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to Sehun’s lips. “Yes, less drugs though.” Sehun chuckled, nodding and nudged his nose over Jongin’s. “Less drugs, I promise.” 

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to the weeknd for the title, hope you all enjoyed


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